Well, I have not posted in a while, but I have been keeping busy. Have more transcripts I have been slowly working on and been scrapping, just not as much as I'd like. I just finished one of the best books i have ever read, so I immediately started the next book by the same author. For the most part, I have been keeping to myself, and been very depressed. Work took a very ugly turn a few weeks ago and my former friend/supervisor suddenly decided to get me in trouble with the bosses for things that she had previously approved, and now denies knowing anything about. For instance, I did not have uniforms two days because our dryer broke. But, I had told her the day before that i would not be in uniform the following two days because i was unable to wash/dry them, and a repairman was already scheduled. She said that was fine. Also, much of my work requires me to assist the detectives, and I am to assist the computer guys when they come for repairs and updates, everything is supposed to go through me. Some of that work I am able to do myself even. So, when they schedule to come in and do some work, I am busy. I can't just tell them we have to stop work so I can go to lunch for an hour. Right, at $125 an hour they would love to sit around and do nothing, while charging us. So, I keep working till we have completed the job. So, I miss lunch sometimes. I had always been told to leave an hour early to make up for that lost lunch hour. Well... Suddenly I find myself in a little room being yelled at for making up my own hours, leaving when I feel like it and not wearing the uniforms as mandated. The bitch just sat there. When I tried to stand up for myself, they got even angrier and wouldn't hear of it. She soooo screwed me over. If she no longer wanted me to leave early when I missed lunch, she should have told me, and it I would just accept that they screwed me yet again. No. She just wanted to get me in trouble because I am a better worker than her and never cause problems. So, then when I didn't talk to her for the rest of the day, she blew up at me, started calling me a bitch, a baby and saying she had no idea I was going to get in trouble, and I shouldn't blame her when I screwed up. She then told me she was in charge of the office and if I didn't straighten up I'd be sorry. Those were her exact words. Doesn't that sound more like a threat? This is all from the same person who once told me she didn't want me working there and wished she'd never met me. How do you defend yourself when you are dealing with someone who is just plain evil and jealous and stoops to lies to get her way? She will do or say anything to make me look bad just for her own pleasure or to make herself look better than me. I am not a vindictive, hateful person, and do not want to stoop to her level. I walk on eggshells every day there, never knowing what will happen next, knowing that I could be accused of something I haven't done and it won't make a difference because she always gets her way. I just don't get it. Years ago when we started working together, I used to walk in and find files I had been working on suddenly missing, black ink stamp marks all over a white sweater on my desk, notes calling me a whore, a dark sticky liquid was poured into my radio/cd player. I could go on all night. The whole time, I have kept my mouth shut, knowing it was all because she was jealous. I am thin and petite, she has always had an obsession with food. There was a guy she had a crush on, and he liked me. So, she went out and started spreading terrible rumors about me, trying to make me look bad in his eyes. Not that it mattered in that case, I had no interest in that guy and told her that over and over again. It made no difference. Through it all, I have remained kind to her, acted as a friend, in hopes that she would finally begin to see that I am not a threat to her. After 15 years, I don't see much change, other than she pretends even harder to be my friend, but I see now that it is just her attempts to find some other way to hurt me. I am just so miserable and sick. The thought of having to go to work each day makes me ill, and I start getting nauseous and a headache begins. I start shaking. The bosses know what she is like and have let her get away with it all this time, there is no help there. I see no end to this other than quitting, but that is what she wants. Then I am out of a job. And jobs are scarce right now. I feel so trapped. Every Friday night I start feeling better, can actually get some food down. Saturdays, as the day wears on, the dread starts to build again, and by Sunday morning, I a sick again and staring at the clock, thinking about the week ahead. How can I live like this?
Monday, April 07, 2008
I may have just gone over the edge now. Went over to Rosie's (SIL) last night and brought home a TON of her pictures to copy/scan. And, she has boxes and boxes I haven't even touched yet. She takes lots and lots of pictures and I needed more pictures of the kids for 'Grandpa's Brag Book'. Going to a crop Friday night, so I need to get this done this week, as well as work all week. I am thinking of taking Friday off from work so I can prepare for the evening's events. It's going to be a long week, got up at 4 today and finished a transcript.
Did two LO's yesterday, one that I am absolutely crazy about. For anyone who isn't scrap savvy, LO means Layout, another word for a scrapbook page, just like you see below. I still have to post them to ACOT. I am toying with the idea of setting up my own website also... We'll see. Don't know if I am ready for another project right now. I have a pile of library books as well as books from Jen's grandmom that I am trying to read as well as scrapping. I am committed to ACOT's Layout A Day Challenge. Last month I only completed 28 LO's, so I have to do better this month. So far, I only have 2 for the month and today is the 7th. I don't see any LO's getting done before Friday, I will be quite busy getting my pictures ready. Then I need to pack my supplies and make sure I have everything I need, fit it all in one bag. Then, I have another crop on the 19th of this month. Then, in May, ACOT has a weekend long crop, that will take lots of caffeine as well as lots of prep time. I can't wait! ttul!!!